In late December 2023, our father died from Parkinson’s, leaving our mother alone with advanced Alzheimer’s. Our father’s caregivers took over which seemed like the best way to avoid more upheaval. While she didn’t know that he had died, our mother knew something “was missing” and we were concerned that her daily life be as stable as possible. But in less than a month we knew this arrangement wasn’t working. The caregivers had no dementia training. The retirement home was for independent seniors so the activities weren’t appropriate for her. My brother and I realized that trying “to keep things the same” was not a good plan for someone with a progressive disease whose situation had significantly changed.

Fortunately for us, a friend mentioned Cedarhurst and another brand-new facility with a memory care floor. We visited both on a cold morning in February. We walked out of Cedarhurst feeling like this was the one. But we dutifully carried on to the second appointment and then we REALLY knew Cedarhurst was the right choice! At Cedarhurst, memory care isn’t on a special floor via the service elevator. It isn’t an afterthought or something to be hidden away. People with dementia are the core business of Cedarhurst. And another wonderful thing about Cedarhurst – it isn’t actually a business. We know what for-profit care looks like and there is a real difference when shareholders aren’t running the show.

The staff worked with us and made our mother’s new room as safe for her as possible – we felt the deep knowledge of dementia at Cedarhurst and understood that we needed to adapt her environment to her needs. We filled in a long questionnaire before she moved in and I wondered if anyone would ever read it – not only did they read it but they remembered so many important details and that made her move-in so smooth.

Our mother was never a morning person and now she can wake up naturally every day and calmly have her breakfast when she wants it. The kitchen is on her schedule. And she isn’t served what she doesn’t like – the staff know her so well.

Arts and crafts, colouring, having her hair done, singing and games – these are things that make our mother happy now and at Cedarhurst these activities are offered to her in the late morning or in the afternoon when she is alert and happy to participate. Whenever we visit, we find her in a good place. For our mother, dementia makes every person a stranger, and every situation fraught with uncertainty. But at Cedarhurst, she has found a sense of safety and serenity. She is engaged, reassured, cared for and acknowledged. And we are very grateful.